Bridesmaids Die in Tasmania

A travel diary by Wayne Tunks about traveling to Launceston for the latest production of “The Bridesmaid Must Die!” – this time by the Launceston Players. A full recap of my trip. Food is important, it needs to be written about. The same with drinks. And the theatre. Just have a read, please.

April 16, 2021

I haven’t travelled much in my life, but have had quite a few flights, especially within in Australia. So it seems strange to say I didn’t fly in 2020. Probably the first year I hadn’t taken a flight since the age of 20. This trip I am taking was actually meant to happen last year, but due to Covid, it was postponed. You see, I’m headed to Tassie to see a production of my play, “The Bridesmaid Must Die!”. This is the third time a season will be produced in Tassie, and I am excited.

This play is special to me. I wrote it and first produced it in 2004, which seems like a lifetime ago. It was the third full length play I had written and really cemented my love of theatre and writing plays. The production, at the Riverside Theatre in Parramatta, was also special, it was where I met my best friend, Charlene. Seventeen years later and we are still as close as ever. So yeah, this play is special to me.

I also got to come down for the first production in Launceston all those years ago. Had a blast and really enjoyed meeting the creative team. Since then I’ve gotten to work with some of that cast. Emma Hardy appeared in “37 Ways To Say I’m Gay” in Melbourne (and that was a sell-out season) and David A Quinn appeared in my award winning web series, “After Nightfall”. Plus, Amanda Phillips had directed a student production of my 16 women play, “Hell Hath No Fury”, and that offered me a chance to head to Launceston again. So I was delighted to hear that Amanda was returning for this production. I was also very happy to hear that the amazing Leigh Oswin was returning to direct the play. He is a great director and was the one who originally brought it to Tassie, so I knew it was in capable hands.

Now this all sounds lovely for a nasty little play. You see, in this black comedy, a bridesmaid must die. It’s not a who dunnit, it’s a who’s gonna get it. And the audience are the ones who decide which of these ladies will bite the dust. It’s all in good fun and I’ve loved seeing this play’s evolution.

So here I am, masked up, making my first flight since late 2019. It’s been a tough week, one project I am doing has been much harder than I could have expected, so a weekend in Tasmania seems perfect. I look forward to seeing the show and just sitting in some cafes, drinking coffee and breathing in the good air.

This is my third time in Launceston and I always forget how small it is. I landed at 9am and came to the CBD. There were five hours until I could check into my hotel. I started walking around and was happy to stumble across the theatre where my play was being held. The weather was cool, but beautiful, Tasmanian air really is lovely.

I had been asking on social media for coffee recommendations. A couple of people had said, Sweet Brew. And it just turned out to be around the corner from the theatre. It felt like everything was just around the corner from the theatre.

I got my standard long black and a lovely looking granola, that may be the fanciest I have ever eaten. It was nice coffee, strong in taste without the bitterness, and a sweet after taste. I guess the name Sweet Brew was fitting.

I did a good deep dive into the local shops and bought a blazer that was more than half price off – I can sense a bargain anywhere.

With two hours until check in, I was getting tired of carrying my bag, so went into Cocobean and had a beautiful hot chocolate. I was tired from walking but could feel myself starting to relax. The weekend was working.

After wandering around more, I found myself at Alchemy Bar and had a cider and some fries. It was nice to sit down and do some blogging for my radio show. Before long, enough time had passed and I checked into my hotel, the Cornwall Boutique.

Spent the afternoon chilling, went for another walk and decided to get a haircut, yes, I was brave going into a new place. In my defence, every time I walked past them during the day they were packed, so I felt confident they would be good, and they were. I was very happy.

Then it was time for some dinner. I felt like a big dirty burger, it was a holiday after all, and I knew I would be on a diet on Monday – so I wanted to go out in style. I had passed Burger Junkie earlier in the day and knew I had to go back. I ordered a pint of lovely cider and a Sweet Bourbon Chicken Burger. Holy hell it was good. It was really good. It felt almost indecent eating that in public.

As the lights went down, I felt the pangs of nerves. They were natural. I knew the show was going to be brilliantly executed, but you always get nervous. And I just hoped that no one would be offended by a play I had written 17 years ago that was VERY full on and touched on some edgy topics. I am happy to report, the production was incredible. Each member of the cast imbodied their characters perfectly, Leigh’s direction was incredible and the costumes and lights were all fantastic. I adored the show.

I have to admit, it has been a while since I have read the play, or seen it. It felt like watching something new. I remembered some things coming, other things I completely forgot. It was easy to forget that I had written this madness and just let myself be absorbed into the story and these wonderful actors creating this bonkers world. I really loved how much the first act was played with perfect farce and the second act really dug deep and found the drama. I found myself laughing and crying. I forgot that this play which seems superfluous on the outside is really filled with important issues involving classism, homophobia, mental illness and domestic violence. Leigh and his cast really highlighted these issues and I found myself very humbled by the production.

The show finished and I finally had a chance to meet everyone, and see just how lovely they all were. Many drinks were had in the foyer and I felt a genuine connection with these amazing people. We ended moving to a fantastic little hidden cocktail bar, Cinco. It was a small little bar where it felt comfortable, and the drinks were exquisite. I don’t know how long we were there, but I was happy and had had a perfect first day in Launceston.

April 17. 2021

The next day I slept in, which for me is a big thing, and then got myself ready to head to breakfast (brunch). I was meeting up with Jeff Hockley, the show’s lighting designer and the Launceston Players’ Senior Vice President; and his partner, Christopher Byrg. We met up first at Bread and Butter. It’s a great new little café / bakery that was packed. I had a long black and a Quince Tart (which could well be my new drag name). The coffee was good, thought the one from Sweet Brew was better; however, that Quince Tart was amazing. Flaky pastry and the fruit tasted beautiful. Enjoyed it immensely.

Then we moved next door to the Harvest Farmer’s Market. This place was amazing. Some of the best looking produce I had ever seen and again, the place was packed. We wandered around and checked out each stall and did some gin tasting. Then sat down for a Haloumi and Chorizo Burger, that was so Goddamn tasty. I would eat that daily if I could. Then it was on to another coffee, this time from the Provenance Coffee Company. I think this may have been better than the Sweet Brew coffee, just. It’s very close. The textures were incredible, the crème beautiful and the taste made me grin. All those people who joked on Facebook that Launceston had no good coffee, clearly have never had coffee in Launceston – it was amazing. I was having the best day, my hosts were truly wonderful and I felt very at home in this beautiful town.

Next it was onto the Cataract Gorge. I am embarrassed to say that I didn’t even know this place existed. I certainly didn’t go there last time I was here, and I am so thankful the gents took me there this time. We took a long walk around the Gorge, even crossing the suspension bridge. I must admit, I am not the fondest of bridges, and my heart skipped a little while in the middle of the bridge, feeling it sway from side to side; still, I loved the walk and crossing it. I had seen a new side to Launceston and I could not have been more thankful.

Then it was a quick rest in the hotel, only I thought the matinee was 2.30pm, not 2pm. So at 2pm I strolling out of the hotel on the way to the theatre and my phone rings. I am late, they are holding the show for me. I don’t run, I hate running, I won’t run. I sprinted to that theatre in about a minute or two, breathless, but I made it. Another great show. My only disappointment, the same ending. The audience voted for the bridesmaid to die. On opening night I saw the promiscuous maid of honour Bree die, and she did again in the matinee. Still, it was great to see the show again and watch it grow. The cast were getting accustomed to performing the show and it was a delight to watch.

That night I met with Jeff again and he took me to dinner at the Sports Garden Hotel, another fantastic venue. I tell you, these Tasmanians know how to make an eatery. A beautiful and massive fish and chips had me filled up and ready for my last night in the theatre. I tell you, for not having seen a show in a very long time, it was nice to be back in the theatre.

Final show for me and it was the best one yet, especially the second half. The cast really rallied and created exquisite drama in the second half. It was brutal and they handled it profoundly and beautifully. I was happy to see the lesbian beatnik poet, Julia, die. Not because I don’t like her, she’s actually my favourite character; but because I like her death the most. And it was everything I could have wanted and more. I was crying with laughter. Wow this team were great. 

More drinks after and again we ended up at Cinco. Got to sit down and chat with some more of the crew and just had a great night. Lockdown had been hard, I missed sitting in a venue, having a drink and talking to other artists. It felt like a palette cleanser, and I was so happy.

 April 18, 2021

The next day I got up early and packed my bag. I was happy to be headed home, it had been a great weekend, but I also would have loved to have stayed and spent more time in that lovely theatre. I headed to the café next door from the hotel, The Eatery. It wasn’t as strong as the other venues I had visited. The coffee was fine and the bacon and egg roll was tasty, but I had had better while in Launceston.

Soon Jeff came to pick me up and before I knew it, I was on the plane headed home. Happy I had finally been able to travel and watch this show I am so proud of. What an amazing few days, and one I will remember for a long time.

A big thank you to the Launceston Players. Thanks to President Grahame Foster for being friendly and inviting. Thanks to Leigh Oswin for once bringing my show to life. This production was so much more than I ever could have expected, I was truly blown away. You are a very talented man. Thanks to the cast, each one was fantastic and I loved getting to know you all, and Amanda, how I have missed you, you fabulous woman you. Then a big thanks to Jeff and Christopher for being such generous and gracious hosts. I am truly thankful. What a brilliant trip and an amazing theatre production.